Birth Conversations in Hawaii: Amber
The Birth Conversation Series is held on my Instagram account and allows people to talk about their own birth experiences, in addition to work they may do in the birth community. Below is a recap of my conversation with Amber Elliott of Amber Elliott Couture Photography. You can find the entire interview on my here.
After a misdiagnosed infection, a traumatic surgery left Amber bed ridden for 2 years with the instruction that becoming pregnant would not be physically possible. 10 years later, she became pregnant with her first son.
“I was designated high risk and because of that, at least where I live (Canada), you essentially feel like your rights are taken. They dictate what type of doctor you see, which for me was high risk...and I felt bullied throughout the entire process, all the way up until my son was born. He was born healthy, I gave a vaginal delivery, and it was a horrible experience. It was a horrible experience through the Obstetrician appointments, through the labor and birthing process - just the entire system. The system put on more stress and pressure than anything else. I had a Birth Doula and a Postpartum Doula throughout that process and I believe that was probably the one thing that got me through it.”
“I didn’t want to be told and dictated how to have my pregnancy.” Amber shares her fight to take control of her own birth. Photograph by Teresa Robertson of Robertson & co.
Four year later, Amber became pregnant again and insisted that this birth was going to be different. Trusting her instincts, advice from her sister (a nurse), consulting with her general practitioner, and discussing her intentions with her previous birth doula, a plan was formed: minimal doctors appointments, midwife, and water birth.
What may seem like less ‘work’ turned into a mission to stay empowered and in control of her body during this birth: Amber eventually found a midwife that was willing to work with her; but not until she first prepared a presentation for the hospital board where she would give birth. Under the health care system Amber was under, midwives were not allowed to deliver high risk pregnancies. After a successful meeting, she was told she was the first high risk pregnancy allowed to include her midwife.
“Is birth something we’re just supposed to survive?”
Amber and I discussed her obstacles and how they may relate to the quickly changing world of birth today (this article is being written in the few several weeks of the COVID-19 outbreak). Though Amber had a plan for her birth and she had a healthy vaginal delivery, things didn’t go as planned for labor. I asked her for advice or guidance to others facing change in their delivery:
“Don’t allow anything to distract you and don’t look at the big picture too much. Focus on the first thing in front of you - otherwise it can be really overwhelming. Write down the areas where those gaps are and start one by one in tiny little steps into resolving each one for yourself because you really do have the power.
“Why would you submit your body to someone who treats your body horribly?” After a traumatic surgery, followed by a traumatic birth, Amber shares her thoughts on taking control of her pregnancy. Photograph by Teresa Robertson of Robertson & co.
There are many people on your team when you're pregnant: Your partner is on that team, your doula is on that team, your midwife or Obstetrician, General Practitioner, your parents, your children, all of them are on your team. And they all should be working in tandem.
I had a perfect vision of how I wanted to give birth and it didn’t go that way...but it doesn’t matter. At the end of the day you should feel empowered, supported, loved, and you feel you have a right to voice a concern, request, anything to anybody and that you and your baby are safe.”
I would love for you to listen to my full interview with Amber here. Also, keep checking my Instagram page for more live interviews - I would love to have you on, as well!
Have questions about birth?
I would love to answer them! Not even sure what to ask? That’s ok too. Never hesitate to reach out to a Birth Worker to simply discuss what your options are, how you may be able to work together, and see who may be the best fit for you. There are many of us who truly want to see you well taken care of and have your best interest at heart.
Teresa Robertson received her Bachelor’s of Fine Art degree in Photography and Fine Art Illustration from the Savannah College of Art and Design. After serving as a volunteer for several years with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, she became interested in Birth Photography and Birth Doula (DONA) work as well. She soulfully resides on the island of Oahu, is passionate about preserving the land and culture.
