It’s interesting to me that when I describe myself as a Doula who focuses on families experiencing perinatal loss, almost every person (if not every person) thinks to talk to me about the actual pregnancy and birth surrounding the loss. There is never any mention of what loss looks like in healthy pregnancies beyond that or the unique support and care that may be required.

“May your journey be filled with more hope and healing than you ever dreamed possible.” - Franchesca Cox

I certainly don’t feel that people intend to be neglectful or hurtful when it comes to the absence of acknowledging previous pregnancies and birth, rather it shows how far we have to go in supporting the full picture of perinatal loss. Celebrating Pregnancy Again offers a glance into one person’s story through her three pregnancies, focusing on her first child who passed away and how this affected her thoughts and emotions during the following pregnancies. This book not only offers insight for the expecting parent of their first rainbow baby but is a great introduction to supporting family and friends who may want to understand more of the emotions and thoughts of the pregnant person.   

When I first picked up Celebrating Pregnancy Again, I was a little surprised by how small/short the book was; however, with a book that covers such enormous, complex, individual topics of emotion, I can see how valuable it would be to a family beginning to expect their first rainbow baby by offering a gentle, general look at possible emotions (rather than an exact ‘This is what you will/should feel). I appreciated that the author, Franchesca Cox, not only discussed her personal thoughts and emotions around the pregnancy itself but the relationships she experienced surrounding it. The fact that she touches on her struggles with her faith may seem bold to some but I expect it to be comforting to others who may be experiencing the same struggles. At the end, there wasn’t a ‘conclusion’ when it came to this part of her journey, which is also going to relate to many and bring comfort that they are not alone. 

“Don’t be afraid to listen to your instincts and lean on your grief even after bringing a new child into the world.”

— Franchesca Cox, Author of Celebrating Pregnancy Again

I have personally had families reach out to me with the news that they are expecting again with the intention of sharing ‘only’ good news; however, I think because these families view me as a ‘safe’ person to be vulnerable with, we often talk about the complexity of what they are experiencing. On the one hand I am grateful to assure them that I am understanding of any range of emotion they may be feeling and what they are feeling is normal; on the other, it pains me to think they have felt so much weight and burden until we talk, thinking they should remain grateful, ‘over’ their last birth, and, worst of all, silent. 

I absolutely suggest this book as an initial look into the possibilities of pregnancy after loss, which are not widely discussed. Because the author is able to share her personal experiences without a great amount of detail, even if the reader hasn’t had the exact same experiences, I think they will at least be able to take comfort in the idea that they are not alone in their thoughts and feelings. At most, I hope this book offers a gentle push for others to be more confident expressing what they are going through and receive greater support because of it.

Restoring the lost joys of pregnancy after the loss of a child.

Have questions about birth?

I would love to answer them! Not even sure what to ask? That’s ok too. Never hesitate to reach out to a Birth Worker to simply discuss what your options are, how you may be able to work together, and see who may be the best fit for you. There are many of us who truly want to see you well taken care of and have your best interest at heart.

Teresa Robertson received her Bachelor’s of Fine Art degree in Photography and Fine Art Illustration from the Savannah College of Art and Design. After serving as a volunteer for several years with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, she became interested in Birth Photography and Birth Doula (DONA) work as well. She soulfully resides on the island of Oahu, is passionate about preserving the land and culture.

 The Birth Conversation Series is held on my Instagram account and allows people to talk about their own birth experiences, in addition to work they may do in the birth community. Below is a recap of my conversation with Stephani, a mother of four. You can find the entire interview here. 

In the midst of COVID-19, I talk with Stephani who has gone through four births. Like a lot of conversations I host, the details are different but they are more the result of two underlying factors in birth: community and conversation.

“I thought the hospital would help me with my birth plan.” Photograph by Teresa Robertson of Robertson & co.

Stephani’s births all involved being at the hospital, having an epidural, and several family members close by. Despite having what some would consider a ‘routine’ hospital birth, she describes the unknowns, the confusion, and the lack of choices she felt she had. 

“It wasn’t until the end of my first pregnancy that I finally asked my doctor if we were ever going to discuss my birth plan. He sort of looked at me and said, ‘Why? Was there something you wanted?’ I thought the hospital was going to educate me on what my options were and it never happened.”

While every birth story contains its own unique details, the general outcome often comes from how much - or how little - we have been exposed to and what we are ‘allowed’ to choose when it comes to how our bodies labor and birth. While Stephani didn’t feel her births were ‘bad’, she recognizes that she may have made different choices and had a different perspective had she been encouraged and educated on what preferences were offered, long before her pregnancy even began. 

“I thought the hospital or my doctor would talk to me about how I wanted to birth.”

— Stephani F

Similar to being educated on pregnancy, we also talk about the lack of conversation surrounding postpartum: physically, mentally, and emotionally. After suffering a year with postpartum depression before being diagnosed, Stephani reflects on what could have helped before things felt out of control. 

For our full conversation, visit my youtube channel here and follow along on Instagram Live as we discuss pregnancy during COVID-19 and join our community chats whether you live in Hawaii or anywhere in the world.

Stephani talks about her thoughts on lack of education / communication in regards to pregnancy and birth. Photograph by Teresa Robertson of Robertson & co.

Have questions about birth?

I would love to answer them! Not even sure what to ask? That’s ok too. Never hesitate to reach out to a Birth Worker to simply discuss what your options are, how you may be able to work together, and see who may be the best fit for you. There are many of us who truly want to see you well taken care of and have your best interest at heart.

Teresa Robertson received her Bachelor’s of Fine Art degree in Photography and Fine Art Illustration from the Savannah College of Art and Design. After serving as a volunteer for several years with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, she became interested in Birth Photography and Birth Doula (DONA) work as well. She soulfully resides on the island of Oahu, is passionate about preserving the land and culture.

 The Birth Conversation Series is held on my Instagram account and allows people to talk about their own birth experiences, in addition to work they may do in the birth community. Below is a recap of my conversation with Amber Elliott of Amber Elliott Couture Photography. You can find the entire interview on my here. 

After a misdiagnosed infection, a traumatic surgery left Amber bed ridden for 2 years with the instruction that becoming pregnant would not be physically possible. 10 years later, she became pregnant with her first son. 

“I was designated high risk and because of that, at least where I live (Canada), you essentially feel like your rights are taken. They dictate what type of doctor you see, which for me was high risk...and I felt bullied throughout the entire process, all the way up until my son was born. He was born healthy, I gave a vaginal delivery, and it was a horrible experience. It was a horrible experience through the Obstetrician appointments, through the labor and birthing process - just the entire system. The system put on more stress and pressure than anything else. I had a Birth Doula and a Postpartum Doula throughout that process and I believe that was probably the one thing that got me through it.”

“I didn’t want to be told and dictated how to have my pregnancy.” Amber shares her fight to take control of her own birth. Photograph by Teresa Robertson of Robertson & co.

Four year later, Amber became pregnant again and insisted that this birth was going to be different. Trusting her instincts, advice from her sister (a nurse), consulting with her general practitioner, and discussing her intentions with her previous birth doula, a plan was formed: minimal doctors appointments, midwife, and water birth. 

What may seem like less ‘work’ turned into a mission to stay empowered and in control of her body during this birth: Amber eventually found a midwife that was willing to work with her; but not until she first prepared a presentation for the hospital board where she would give birth. Under the health care system Amber was under, midwives were not allowed to deliver high risk pregnancies. After a successful meeting, she was told she was the first high risk pregnancy allowed to include her midwife. 

“Is birth something we’re just supposed to survive?”

— Amber Elliott

Amber and I discussed her obstacles and how they may relate to the quickly changing world of birth today (this article is being written in the few several weeks of the COVID-19 outbreak). Though Amber had a plan for her birth and she had a healthy vaginal delivery, things didn’t go as planned for labor. I asked her for advice or guidance to others facing change in their delivery: 

“Don’t allow anything to distract you and don’t look at the big picture too much. Focus on the first thing in front of you - otherwise it can be really overwhelming. Write down the areas where those gaps are and start one by one in tiny little steps into resolving each one for yourself because you really do have the power.

“Why would you submit your body to someone who treats your body horribly?” After a traumatic surgery, followed by a traumatic birth, Amber shares her thoughts on taking control of her pregnancy. Photograph by Teresa Robertson of Robertson & co.

There are many people on your team when you're pregnant: Your partner is on that team, your doula is on that team, your midwife or Obstetrician, General Practitioner, your parents, your children, all of them are on your team. And they all should be working in tandem.

I had a perfect vision of how I wanted to give birth and it didn’t go that way...but it doesn’t matter. At the end of the day you should feel empowered, supported, loved, and you feel you have a right to voice a concern, request, anything to anybody and that you and your baby are safe.”

I would love for you to listen to my full interview with Amber here. Also, keep checking my Instagram page for more live interviews - I would love to have you on, as well! 

Have questions about birth?

I would love to answer them! Not even sure what to ask? That’s ok too. Never hesitate to reach out to a Birth Worker to simply discuss what your options are, how you may be able to work together, and see who may be the best fit for you. There are many of us who truly want to see you well taken care of and have your best interest at heart.

Teresa Robertson received her Bachelor’s of Fine Art degree in Photography and Fine Art Illustration from the Savannah College of Art and Design. After serving as a volunteer for several years with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, she became interested in Birth Photography and Birth Doula (DONA) work as well. She soulfully resides on the island of Oahu, is passionate about preserving the land and culture.

If you are ready to give birth, I know things may feel pretty scary right now. You may even feel like you have no control over what happens to your own labor and delivery - but I want to assure you that doesn’t need to necessarily be the case.

On my dedicated Instagram page for birth, I am going to be holding a series of conversations from people who are about to give - or have just recently given - birth. Today I really wanted to start things off by getting into the bare basics of what your birth may (or may not) look like. A starting point for trying to wrap your mind around what you are hoping to have take place and what you know your possible other options may be.

This template can help break down the basics of considering your birth options during uncertain times.

The video itself is best to listen to when you have some time to focus. So until then, above is a brief overview of what is discussed and how you can take what feels like an incredibly overwhelming situation and break it down.

Even if you don’t plan on giving birth in Hawaii or the island of Oahu, please know that I am a resource here for you to help in anyway I can.

Have questions about birth?

I would love to answer them! Not even sure what to ask? That’s ok too. Never hesitate to reach out to a Birth Worker to simply discuss what your options are, how you may be able to work together, and see who may be the best fit for you. There are many of us who truly want to see you well taken care of and have your best interest at heart.

Teresa Robertson received her Bachelor’s of Fine Art degree in Photography and Fine Art Illustration from the Savannah College of Art and Design. After serving as a volunteer for several years with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, she became interested in Birth Photography and Birth Doula (DONA) work as well. She soulfully resides on the island of Oahu, is passionate about preserving the land and culture.

As the world has been watching the last several weeks play out, I have personally been reacting to current events like breathing: Take everything in, get the bad stuff out, fluidly move on to the next experience, repeat. Every so often take a quiet, intentional moment to reassess how everything feels, appreciate that there is perfection happening in details so minuscule that I can’t even identify, and adjust my stance if I recognize I could be improving how things function.

It’s easy to look at others and wish we had the view as them; but sometimes, if we would just gift ourselves a moment or two, we would see we have access to the same things. (View of sunrise over the water.) Photograph by Teresa Robertson of Robertson & co. in Hawaii.

Due to the world of social media, t’s been pretty incredible to almost be a fly on the wall for so many; suddenly, what people value has come to surface in unexpected ways. Having said that, things people don’t value has been just as eye opening. Watching so many intimate, unique details of lives play out, I’ve almost been appreciative to have the expanded insight to understand what is individually important to people, how they respond, what emotions require more support from others, and identify opportunities to step in to help in ways that may seem small to me but play a bigger, more important roles to another person. 

As I continue to put focus on the birth community in my career, I recognize and appreciate the similarities of how each day brings subtle changes with, at times, major consequences both negative and positive. The need to be open minded and understand when someone is feeling uncomfortable vs. in crisis mode. Acknowledging that there may not seem like much of a difference to others looking in. Recognizing that while a small shift may have contributed to feeling out of control, an equally small shift can reign comfort, confidence, and assurance back just as quickly. Finding an appropriate way to contribute to a positive outcome when it feels like there’s a road block at each turn. 

Consideration of these things make me realize what calls me to be a Birth Doula, the attention required in helping others with seemingly ‘routine’ tasks that may need a little unforeseen attention and care along the way. I keep thinking about these two (separate) phrases:

“Just stay home!”

“Just have a baby!”

Appreciating the details. Tree of Life from the series Mele Ma'i (Procreation Chants). Photograph by Teresa Robertson of Robertson & co. in Hawaii.

The simplicity that surrounds the initial thought of each...until you begin to consider the intimate details that ultimately play a major factor in how pleasurable vs. traumatizing each can potentially play out. While some may leave it to happenstance, others will proactively work on a plan that allows more controlled, favorable outcomes to be experienced. Not that there won’t need to be some adjustments along the way but knowing that should things not go as planned, it will be easier to improvise and move to Plan B. 

All of this to say, we are each going through some decisions we didn’t anticipate, inconveniences to our ideal day to day, and  circumstances beyond our control. Especially if you are able to give birth, your world may be feeling like it’s completely flipped over. If this applies to you and you are nervous about where you had originally planned to give birth, not having the support around you that had been anticipated, or just what life is going to look like with a newborn in general when ‘normal’ has already gone out the window - please reach out to me.

You have my promise that I will not 

1. Attempt to make decisions for you.

2. Pretend to have all of the answers.

What I will do is listen - and, should you want help researching information or considering different labor and birthing options, suggest some pretty incredible people in the birth community that may be able to make some possible choices feel less scary. 

If you aren’t pregnant but happen to resonate with this article in a different way, still reach out. Life can be really complicated and overwhelming; starting with a conversation may not be the instant resolve to everything but it’s a step in the right direction. Just know you don’t have to ‘push through’ - and certainly not alone.

Have questions about birth?

I would love to answer them! Not even sure what to ask? That’s ok too. Never hesitate to reach out to a Birth Worker to simply discuss what your options are, how you may be able to work together, and see who may be the best fit for you. There are many of us who truly want to see you well taken care of and have your best interest at heart.

Teresa Robertson received her Bachelor’s of Fine Art degree in Photography and Fine Art Illustration from the Savannah College of Art and Design. After serving as a volunteer for several years with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, she became interested in Birth Photography and Birth Doula (DONA) work as well. She soulfully resides on the island of Oahu, is passionate about preserving the land and culture.

Photographing Your Birth story

One of the top three questions I receive in regards to Birth Photography (especially from soon to be Dads) is, ‘Who in the world would want to see these photos?! I’m certainly not posting these on our Holiday Cards!’

If you promise to keep reading and allow me to explain, I’ll tell you a little secret: Maybe you will post a few photos for family and friends to see.

But let’s back up a bit.

Whether you are having a hospital birth, home birth, c-section, a skilled Birth Photographer can capture your birth story in ways that you will cherish forever. Photograph by Teresa Robertson of Robertson & co. in Hawaii.

For some, Birth Photography may seem like a fad, or something new that is being offered when, it has actually been around for a number of years.

It was almost a decade ago when I was preparing to give birth to my second child. Another Photographer friend of mine (B. Billick Photography of Kentucky) mentioned the possibility of photographing my daughter’s arrival. I had never heard of the concept before but I knew I was in, always willing to try something new in the name of art.

The concept was fresh to both of us and with her living 6 hours away we weren’t quite sure how to iron out the logistics (my husband was in the Army at the time, deployed through the pregnancy, and we were nowhere near family or friends). I adored my OBGYN at the time and had no qualms bringing it up to him: “Would there be any issue with my friend coming in to photograph the birth?”

It was almost an instant, “Sure.” Then, “Wait...is this a friend you want in the room who will happen to take photos? Or are you actually hiring a Photographer? This definitely isn’t the time for that - you aren’t going to want to document what is going on down there.”

Oh.

Looking back, it’s certainly not as though I think his reaction is odd; this is a common first reaction to people who are introduced to Birth Photography. Having said that, do I regret not going through with it? 110% . In addition, I wish he had a little more confidence in me, my body, and how awesome the birth process was.

How I birthed my three children is another story for another time (hint: one of the reasons I began looking into becoming a Doula) and what I wouldn’t do to have that moment documented when my daughter and I saw one another for the first time. The expression of joy on my husbands face. How we smiled at one another when it was confirmed that everyone was healthy.

Birth Photography isn’t just labor and delivery - it’s also about capturing that moment when Mom meets baby for the very first time. Oahu, Hawaii Photograph by Teresa Robertson of Robertson & co. in Hawaii.

Things to Consider Before Hiring a Birth Photographer in Hawaii

Do some of my clients want every single detail - and I mean, ALLLLLLLL the details - of their birth story documented? Yes; and they are beautiful. But do I also have clients who simply want the labor and immediate post delivery photographed? Absolutely; and they are beautiful. The bottom line is, everyone’s birth journey is just as important and special.

Because there are so many choices, feelings, and ‘backup plans’ involved in birth, is one of the reasons I spend so much time talking with my clients before hand. We discuss comfort levels, birth plans, expectations, and boundaries. I also make sure your birth team - especially your partner - is supportive of my being there.

Whether you are new to the idea of Birth Photography, considering if it is right for you, or simply curious to know more, I encourage you to reach out to multiple people in the birth world, on your birth team, or myself.

Having a Birth Photographer in addition to the rest of your birth team allows you and your partner to focus on each other while laboring. Photograph by Teresa Robertson of Robertson & co. in Hawaii.

Have more Birth Photography questions?

I would love to answer them! Not even sure what to ask? That’s ok too. Never hesitate to reach out to a Photographer to simply discuss what your options are, how you may be able to work together, and see who may be the best fit for you. There are many of us who truly want to see you well taken care of and have your best interest at heart.

Simply fill out this form and I will be in touch (and I will NEVER pass along your info - pinky swear).

Teresa Robertson received her Bachelor’s of Fine Art degree in Photography and Fine Art Illustration from the Savannah College of Art and Design. After serving as a volunteer for several years with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, she became interested in Birth Photography and Birth Doula (DONA) work as well. She soulfully resides on the island of Oahu, is passionate about preserving the land and culture.